This weekend is homecoming in my town. There was a parade last week and a game, and the dance is tonight. The shop windows downtown are filled with school pride and everyone is dressed up to go to the dance. For many in my town, it’s a day of memories. Many my age are excited to relive this experience through their children and get involved in all the activities.
Not me.
If you follow my blog, you already know I was somewhat of an outsider in high school. I didn’t go to the football games (one) or the dances (one). I skipped it all. Either I wasn’t invited or I didn’t care.
It didn’t mean anything to me. My sophomore year I started dated someone from my Biology class. We passed notes when we should have been listening to the teacher and he walked me to my classes. He actually was my first boyfriend in high school. Homecoming was coming and I don’t think we ever discussed the dance. He ditched me to go to the parade with his friends (girls and guys and we never hung out with them together). As you can guess, we then broke up.
Junior year I made a new friend. He was a guy and that’s all we were – friends. I’ll admit I did like him, but we got along great and I didn’t want to mess with it. He didn’t like me (that way) and I was fine with it. We came up with the silly idea to go to homecoming as friends. I was happy. He was new that year, super cute, and the girls couldn’t believe he was hanging out with me. About a week before the dance, he said he was grounded and he couldn’t go. I know he didn’t go to the dance (and I didn’t either), but I always wondered if he just ditched me like my ex.
Senior year I finally went to the dance. I went with my now husband. We went to different schools so no one had ever met him. I remember walking in with him, so happy I finally made it to a high school dance. We found a table and I think chatted for a bit with a few people. Within an hour, we were so bored we left. I don’t even remember if we danced. We went back to my house and watched a movie together. A much better night.
I look back at my yearbook and see all the pictures. The smiling couples, all laughing hysterically and dancing and having a night they would never forget. A lot of the couples are actually still together and many of those friendships have lasted. The pages of the yearbook belong to them, not me. In fact, I don’t think I’m even on a page in my senior yearbook besides my senior picture.
I’d be lying if I said I’m not a little disappointed I didn’t try harder and participate. We skipped prom, too. I never experienced that exhilarating night. I’m not sure if I care. I think I mostly am sad I never maintained any friendships, the few I did make. I don’t have a group of gals I can go out on the town with from high school. The few I was friends with, we either never kept in touch, or our friendships dissolved out of disagreements or much different views.
So, for me, Homecoming doesn’t hold a special meaning. I hope the couples and friends who attend make wonderful memories and create life long friendships. I hope they laugh and enjoy everyone’s company. And I hope they have no regrets.
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